It has been a long time.

There are so many things that I need to share. This post will be a long one, but I hope that you will find it to be worth it. Since I last posted, I have begun to face on of the major demons that I have in my life. Hi, my name is Shae, and I am a food addict. When I was 14, I began my battle with bulimia. I was a lucky person to beat the hardest part of this disease early on in the process. I stopped the "Throwing Up Action" about 6 months into it. That is the part that people go running back to. NOT ME!! I continued to binge on food after I stopped throwing up. My weight went up rapidly, and then I started Colorguard at my high school, which kept me moving and maintaining. After high school, I gained 50 lbs in 5 years due to my bingeing,and the fact that I had PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight. I wasn't able to maintain anymore. Needless to say, I ignored this problem for 12 years,, thinking it wasn't that bad, and that I would be ok, and snap out of it, and my life would be picture perfect. Over the last few months, I have started attending 12 step meetings, to help keep me accountable for my actions. When i told my husband what had been going on, he felt betrayed. He felt like he couldn't trust me for a while, because I had kept such a secret from him. My parents seemed upset as well, but they showed that they would support me in any way that they could. I am so grateful for that. My husband and I have been able to work through that trust issue, and now we are more aware of each other's needs. One of the first things they tell you to do when you begin to face a food addiction, is to stop dieting. I can't even tell you how hard that step was for me. I have been dieting most of my life, and I wasn't thinking I should stop. I did stop though. I have begun to repair my relationship with food. It is fuel for my body. I can find comfort in different ways. To eliminate some stress in my life, I stepped down from my management position at my work. It has been a bit of a struggle financially, but we have been blessed to still be making it. I have begun a new eating program that will hopefully help me lose the weight that I need to, and to still have a good relationship wih food. I will keep you posted on this journey!