Update time!

So, I am bad at this blogging thing anymore!  I am trying to be better!

So, I am officially in ONEDERLAND!  My current weight is 193, and I am feeling great!  My program is so easy when I stick to it.  Things would be moving faster if I weren't such an emotional eater!  I'm still working on that.

Today, I got my tickets to Brazil purchased so that I can go and see my brother and his family!  My goal is to lose 20 more lbs before I go.  This will be the smallest my older brother has seen me in about 8 years, so I really want to do it!  Wish me luck!

Happy Birthday Early....Again!

So, my parents are amazing.  My mom took me down to pick up a new bicycle today.  It's a beautiful beach cruiser that I adore!  We didn't have a car big enough to drive it home, so I rode it home.  I haven't ridden an actual bicycle since I was about 14.  I rode 2.5 miles today!  I am so proud of myself!  It was 80+ degrees out as I did my bicycle ride, and I went that far!  I am so excited to have another form of working out!  This one is going to be a fun one too!

Update your playlist!

So, I am really enjoying Hip Hop Abs so far!  I am going to be doing it the full 4 weeks and see how that goes.  I feel like I need more cardio though, so I am going to start walking as well.  I wanted to update my workout playlist, so here are the songs I am adding!  Add them to yours and see if it makes a difference!

Feel this Moment - Pitbull and Christina Aguilera
How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20
Any Way You Want It - Journey
Pain - Jimmy Eat World
Love Somebody - Maroon 5
Done - The Band Perry
Temperature - Sean Paul
Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm
Here It Goes Again - OkGo
Get Lucky - Daft Punk Feat. Pharell
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke, Pharell, TI
I Want Crazy - Hunter Hayes

Hopefully you enjoy the diversity in the list!  I know I can't stay completely with one genre or I go crazy!

So, I got an early birthday present.....

...and it was HIP HOP ABS!!!!  It was so fun to open the box from my friend, Alex, and to find that in there.  They know I am focusing on my health again, and it is nice to have someone that supports!  So, I did that for my workout this morning.  Man, am I sweaty!  Dancing always makes me sweat a litte, (have to be honest there,) but nothing like this!  It's awesome!  Now, today was only day 1.  I am going to do it for the next 4 weeks, along with my amazing eating program, and we will see how it fairs.
Can I just mention again how much I love my program?  It is so amazing!  I am down 8 lbs since starting it back up, and I just feel awesome!  It makes me happy knowing I am making strides toward a healthier life, and an active life.  When I get married again, I want to be the mom that runs around with her kids at the park, not the one that sits on the side, talking with the other moms who are too tired to go play with their kids.  I want to take them on hikes, and go on bike rides, and everything else along the way!
Anyway, back to my program!  The food is so delicious!  I just had a Peanut Butter Banana protein shake for my after workout meal, and it was delicious!  I honestly love knowing that I can have something so tasty, and know that it is nutritionally balanced for me so that I can be successful!  8 lbs in like 12 days is a pretty good indicator if you ask me!
Until next time, get active and eat better!
~Shae~

So much has happened....

So, I have been severely neglecting this blog. When I was first on my journey, I was in a struggling marriage. A part of me thought that if I was thinner, maybe that would solve some of our problems. I was sadly mistaken. Needless to say, I am no longer in that struggling marriage. Right after we separated, I put on weight because I was depressed. I didn't know what to think, or what to do, and I just wanted to hide from all of it. As time has gone on, and I have met new people and made new friends and new connections, I had continued to put on weight, because I thought being social was more important than being healthy.
 I got on the scale 2 days ago, and I was back up to 210 lbs. I cried.
So, I jumped right back onto my amazing program! I am down 4 lbs in the first 2 days back on the program. There is nothing like this out there. The food is delicious, I don't feel hungry most of the time, and it's great for an on the go lifestyle like I live.
 Emotionally, I am in not such a depressed state now, which I'm sure is helping my weight loss. Mental health plays such a key part in a weight loss journey. If you let negative thoughts poison your life, you can't make progress. As an emotional eater myself, I struggle with this. I know that if I surround myself with positive people, I do much better. So, my tip today, if that is all you take away from this post, is to surround yourself with positive people!
 Much Love,
Shae, the Skinny Minnie!

It has been a long time.

There are so many things that I need to share. This post will be a long one, but I hope that you will find it to be worth it. Since I last posted, I have begun to face on of the major demons that I have in my life. Hi, my name is Shae, and I am a food addict. When I was 14, I began my battle with bulimia. I was a lucky person to beat the hardest part of this disease early on in the process. I stopped the "Throwing Up Action" about 6 months into it. That is the part that people go running back to. NOT ME!! I continued to binge on food after I stopped throwing up. My weight went up rapidly, and then I started Colorguard at my high school, which kept me moving and maintaining. After high school, I gained 50 lbs in 5 years due to my bingeing,and the fact that I had PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight. I wasn't able to maintain anymore. Needless to say, I ignored this problem for 12 years,, thinking it wasn't that bad, and that I would be ok, and snap out of it, and my life would be picture perfect. Over the last few months, I have started attending 12 step meetings, to help keep me accountable for my actions. When i told my husband what had been going on, he felt betrayed. He felt like he couldn't trust me for a while, because I had kept such a secret from him. My parents seemed upset as well, but they showed that they would support me in any way that they could. I am so grateful for that. My husband and I have been able to work through that trust issue, and now we are more aware of each other's needs. One of the first things they tell you to do when you begin to face a food addiction, is to stop dieting. I can't even tell you how hard that step was for me. I have been dieting most of my life, and I wasn't thinking I should stop. I did stop though. I have begun to repair my relationship with food. It is fuel for my body. I can find comfort in different ways. To eliminate some stress in my life, I stepped down from my management position at my work. It has been a bit of a struggle financially, but we have been blessed to still be making it. I have begun a new eating program that will hopefully help me lose the weight that I need to, and to still have a good relationship wih food. I will keep you posted on this journey!

What I learned tonight!

So, I should update a little more how things have been going for me. I have been able to continue my program until now. We have run out of money, and there is no way that I can continue on it.
Tonight, I found the key for me! There is a breakdown of what you should be consuming and how to personalize it for you. I am so excited to have learned this! I now know that I have the tool to my success! I'm not ready to share my tool yet, but I will share it once I reach my next weight loss goal!

VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!

I am finally under 200 lbs! I am so proud of everything I have been doing! Everyone is seeing results on me! I am 2 pant sizes smaller, and those are starting to feel big! My next goal is to get under 190 lbs!
Thank you all for your continual support of me and my goals!

PROGRESS REPORT

So far on my program, I have lost 16 pounds, and a whopping 29.5 inches! I am feeling fabulous! This program really is working for me! The weight is coming off slower than it did at first, but there are a couple of factors to that. My PCOS makes it awful hard for weight loss. There is a lot of stress in my life, and I am learning how to handle it better than turning to food. We have no money for the things we need, and I know this will be the last month I can afford this program. I think that I have the tools to do what I need to do to continue though.
But, I did have a personal victory yesterday that I needed to share. I have had these pants that I absolutely adore! They are khaki corduroy pants that are super cute on me, and they have super cute pockets as well. I haven't been able to wear them for about 3 1/2 years, and they fit yesterday! I wore them to work and everything! :) It was a great day! I am truly blessed!

I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY!

So, yesterday for the first time in a really long time, I felt pretty. I got ready for the day, and felt confident all day long. It was very eye opening of how I have been thinking of myself. I truly feel good in my own skin, and that's a first in at least the last 2 years I have had this blog. I've had moments, but not a whole day. This morning I'm still feeling pretty good, but not quite as good as yesterday.
We keep hearing in our lives that we are our own worst critic. I've never known those words to be true until this moment. I had posted how I felt on my facebook yesterday, and I had a couple of really sweet friends point out that they always thought I was gorgeous. I think the last time I felt truly gorgeous before yesterday was on my honeymoon 4 years ago. My husband would always tell me how beautiful and gorgeous he thought I was, but it was hard for me to personally believe, because I was so afraid that he was only saying that to me because he loved me, and that he knew it would make me feel good, rather than being the truth. This is no fault on him at all. This is all me. Because of the way I reacted, he didn't call me those things as often anymore, and I started slipping into a depression without realizing, and started eating myself into a fat woman, I guess to protect myself from getting hurt. I felt I could always blame it on being fat.
I have realized now that I can't hide behind my weight forever. I need to let my beautiful self touch more and more people, and the more confident I feel, the more my beauty starts to come out. I need to just embrace the Beautiful Minnie inside, and let her shine!
Here's to a new year, and a new Minnie!

How did I handle Idaho?

NOT WELL!!! I really ate what I wanted, but I did try to eat smaller portions and to eat relatively healthy. It worked out for the most part, because my grandpa is diabetic, and we are really trying to keep his blood sugar down, so it was easier to make good decisions. I did say no to Jack in the Box, which is a personal win, becuase I LOVE THAT PLACE!!!
I didn't really work out while I was there either. The Curves was closed all the days I was there, and I couldn't bring myself to work out at my grandparents house with everyone there. Working out by myself doesn't work so well, I've decided.
Well, I am lucky, and I didn't gain anything while I was gone, so I am still 206. I really wanted to be under 200, but this is my currently reality. Today is a new day. I am back on my plan, and more motivated than ever! My next goal is to be to my wedding weight by Valentine's Day, which is about 14 lbs. Considering I lost 13 this last month, even with my bad moments, I think I can lose 14 in the next 6 weeks!
Wish me luck!

How did I do through the holidays?

So, the holidays are the hardest time to be losing weight. The average person gains 3-8 lbs over the holiday season. Just before thanksgiving, I weighed 219. I now currently weigh 206! :) I am feeling really good about how I am doing. I am proud of how I have handled the last couple of days. I didn't finish either of my plates on Christmas eve or Christmas day at our family gatherings. I was plenty satisfied, and I even did things to burn it off. Saturday I worked in the morning, and after our family party that night, my hubby and I went up to Temple Square in Salt Lake City and walked around to see the Christmas lights. Then Sunday I got on the treadmill at my mother in laws and burned off some of what I ate! I feel really good about that! The hard part now is that we are going to be headed out of town later this week. Wish me luck!

Unexplained Blessings

So, to continue on my current plan, I was $150 short as of noon today. I found out that my doTERRA check was $50 short, so they will be sending that, and I also found out that my boss is giving us a little extra in our checks for Christmas. At least half of that $150 wad taken care of in a matter of 3 hours! I can squeeze another 75 out of somewhere! This is such a blessing!
I finally feel like I have a plan that is working for me, and I'm loving the personal training I am getting! I'm going to be one tough Minnie when this is over! I'm doing a lot of boxing in my training, and the inches are starting to come off of my arm! I couldn't be happier than I am at this moment!

What now?

So, my hubby still works nights, and with my plan for my program right now, once I'm done with dinner, I can only have water. Do you know how hard that is when you are home alone and lonely? I don't think my husband will understand how much I miss him, and how much I wish I didn't have to work, just so I could see him, and we could be on a similar schedule. It seems the only times we have together are his days off, (mine don't exist other than sundays) Sundays, and when either he or I are sleeping. It's nice that we don't fight, but these nights at home are really hard on me. I can't even tell you how bad I want to run to the store, by every type of cheese in sight, and have a mexican pig out. I am sitting here, crying, typing this, missing my husband. I didn't realize how bad I would let my emotions get to me with him working nights until I went on this program.
Now that I have the knowledge, what do I do now? Knowledge is power, right? Well, going out so I don't have to think about it is usually a bad idea, because that usually involves eating. I don't like to go to the gym late at night unless it is for a group workout because the gym isn't staffed after 7. Exercising at home isn't really working out for me, but sitting in front of the TV isn't either. I'm at a loss for what to do. I want to deep clean my apartment, but the neighbor below us works early in the morning, so she is in bed by 7:30-8 so that she can be up by 3.
So here I sit, in my dirty apartment, (other than clean dishes and laundry folded) crying wondering what to do. Does anyone else ever go through this? Am I weird? I have no idea. I'm going to go watch some Vampire Diaries, and hope that I can fall asleep early so that I don't have to keep thinking about this.

Progressing again

Things are looking up. It seems I am back on track to be to my goal weight by the new year as long as I am disciplined. No more cheating or slips for me, and I have to make sure I stay active! I've officially lost 10 lbs and 18.5 inches since just before Thanksgiving. I feel that is pretty impressive! I still have about 9 lbs to go to reach my goal, but I feel that if I buckle down and stick to my plan, things should go according to plan and be great! Here's to making it through the next 2 weeks!
My official competition ending weigh in is on Thursday, and I really want to blow it out of the water! :D

A little discouraged.

I'm a little discouraged right now. I'm still losing inches, but the pounds haven't been coming off. I'm following the plan how they tell me too, and I'm still worried about reaching my goal. It is still a good 10 lbs to get under that 200 mark. I really don't want to see 2012 start with a 2 anything when it comes to my weight. I'm going to have to amp things up I guess, and get more stringent on what I am eating.
The holidays are proving hard to be as successful as I want. There is so much temptation around. I've been really good about keeping it out of the house, but when you are at Christmas parties it is harder. I wish holidays didn't center around food. It makes things difficult!

Will Power

So, I have to tell you, I was so lost last night due to that craving, I honestly had no idea what to do. I didn't give in to this particular craving, because I wanted to find out what about it I was craving. Was it the cheese? Was it just bread in general? What was it about THOSE PARTICULAR ONES that I was craving. As I sat and thought about it last night, I found out it was their seasoning blend that I was craving! Their particular blend seems to be more salty than the other pizza places, so I figured I was craving the salt more than anything. That's why it wasn't just cheesy bread of any kind. So, I drank some more water thinking I was dehydrated, and I did fine the rest of the night. I even said no to the cookies I bought for my work staff meeting last night.

All in all, I think this was a good experience for me to go through! I learned that I need to know specifically what I am craving about foods I crave, and figure out what I need! :)

Craving!!!!

Ok, so I have been following my plan really well considering everything that has been going on with me in the last two weeks with my wedding anniversary and Thanksgiving. Tonight I am craving Little Caesars Italian Cheese Bread. It's so specific I don't even know what to do about it!

A visit to almost 2 years ago

Last night I went back to the beginning of this blog, and remembered how vulnerable I made myself with some of those first posts. I'm really heartbroken that I really haven't made any progress from then! I don't even know what to think about it. I've started sharing this blog again, and I am scared to make myself vulnerable again. I know I need to to be more successful.
After my workout last night, I went home and had a good cry. I can't believe it's taken me almost 2 years to get more serious about this! I'm 9 pounds away from being under 200. I will NEVER spend another year in the 200s! I have to make this happen not only for my health, but for my future family.
Lately, I have been having dreams about my husband and I announcing we are pregnant to our extended family. My dreams take place in spring/summer. That means I have about 6 months to make sure my body is ready for my future family! I have a lot to do between now and then.
I hope I continue to receive the help and support I need!

Weight Loss Competition

So, shortly after my last post, I was invited to participate in a weight loss challenge at a local gym! I accepted, and have been doing the program for the last 2 weeks. As of this morning, I have lost 9 lbs! When I did my official weigh in last Tuesday, I had lost 7.5 inches off my body in the first week. That felt really good! I have to be honest! It doesn't seem the weight loss is as much this week, but I think it was just as many inches, because all of my clothes fit differently. I even have a pair that I can't wear anymore because they are too big!

I hope this continues to work so well for me! Week 2 was definitely harder. The temptation to cheat was much more! :( But that's in the past! This is a new week, and I am more motivated than ever to get under 200 by the new year!I have 10 more lbs to lose to get there! (I had gained some before I started this program!) But I will get there, and that's all that matters!