Feelings

As I have started to share my journey publicly, I have been having mixed feelings. It has truly been helping me, but I feel different. I'm not sure if it's a good different, or a bad different. I've become more aware of who I am right now in my life. There are certain things I like about myself, but there are things that I don't. I have also learned when I started this journey, that I didn't like myself hardly at all. My dear friend Carrie pointed out to me after my first few posts, that I wasn't very nice to myself. I have started making a more conscious effort to be nice to myself. Doing that has really helped me get a better grasp on who I want to become, which is the biggest part of this journey that I am on.

I feel like I'm rambling a little bit, but it feels necessary. I don't know if my blog is helping anyone but myself, but I know that I need this. I need it more than I ever truly realized. The person I want to become loves herself, and I realized I'm not quite there yet. I like myself, but I don't love myself yet. Soon enough I will be there.

I'm a very lucky person to have the people around me who love me. I have my amazing husband, my caring family, and my wonderful friends. I also have the support of all of the great people at Curves, and I know that people are rooting for me to become my best self. There's still work to do, but the support helps.